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Winner or Loser?

8/28/2014

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Which are you?  Yes!  You absolutely have a choice!  No one can put you in either one of these categories without your permission.  But in case you are confused about your two choices, lets look into them a little deeper and then you can decide...

What is considered a "winner"?  How do you define a "loser"?  And how can you keep from falling into the less desirable category. 

Traits of a Loser
Losers make exceptions.  
They blame others.  After all, it's not THIER fault that they're in this position, right? 
 Losers are selfish.  They think of their own happiness and comfort and don't realize the help or support they have received from others.  They don't see how they can help others reach their goals unless there is something short term in it for them.  
Losers are mostly dreamers, not do-ers.  There is always something that stops them from the actual doing.  And it's usual something that is out of their control.  "I don't have the money."  "I don't have the time."  "I don't know how to do this or that."  "My mom won't let me."  "My car broke down."  
Losers are easily discouraged.  Even if they attempt something, the problems they face are often "magnified" so they feel justified for quitting.  
Losers require "instant gratification", nothing is important enough to wait or work for.  Sometimes they are afraid of success because of the new responsibilities it would place on them, so they convince themselves that they didn't really want to be winners in the first place.  They are happy to settle for "good enough" and because of that, they cling to their few successes they've had in the past and refer to them often so they don't have to focus on new ones.

Traits of a Winner
Winners take responsibility for themselves, their choices and their future.  They know that if they want something, it is up to them to go and get it.  
They know that they might have to work at for a while before they achieve their goal, so they are persistent.  They are resilient, because sometimes it takes more than one try to get where they are going.  Winners have focus.  
They keep their eye on the prize.  They have determination because the world loves to throw distraction at them.  
They know that have to prepare and follow many steps in order to reach the big goal but they also show gratitude for every step of the way.  Every reached goal is a reason to celebrate and thank those around them that helped them get there.  
There will be roadblocks, and set backs, but winners know that it is only that, a set back.  They persevere to get through it.  It might slow them down for a minute, but not forever.  They "get back on the horse" and try a new route.  
They seek knowledge.  If they don't know how to do something, the either learn it, or find someone who can alleviate the problem for them. 
 Winners realize that success is up to them... and if they make it to their goal or not has always been in their power. 

This is a very black and white portrait of "winners" and "losers" when the fact is we all probably have some traits from both categories.  But which traits are you going to allow to come to the surface and shine through?  Are you going to make excuses or face your challenges?  Are you going to sit back and dream about what could be or are you going to take that FIRST step to make it yours.  Unlike the movies and the Lottery campaigns would have you think, dreams don't happen over night.  Most of us have to work for them.  Work long and hard sometimes.  But if it is what you want, what you really want, the journey is so very worth it.  At the end of that road, you'll be able to look back and see how far you have come and that is something no one can ever take from you.

The choice is yours.  

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    Author

    Elizabeth Bourgeret is a teen-life coach, published author and creator of the Total Truth Workshop for teens. 
    She currently resides in Missouri when she is not traveling about the country hosting the workshops or writing beach-side.

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